Cartas del Corazon

Tried to kiss me... / Intento besarme...

Dawn Taylor — 2008-01-09T01:49:23-08:00

Intento besarme sin permiso ...

Dawn Taylor — 2008-01-09T01:48:56-08:00

Querida Aurora:

He sido amiga de un muchacho por un casi un a�o, a �l le gusta abrazarme cada vez que nos vemos, y realmente eso no me molesta. El problema es que recientemente �l trat� de besarme. Me hiz� sentir muy incomoda que hasta cuando pude separarme lo suficiente lejos de �l, estabe amordazando y escupiendo. Estaba con un asco tremendo. He estado evitandolor desde ese beso. Que deberia de hacer?

Sinceramente, La Asqueada.

Querida Asqueada:

Este es el tipo de situaci�n que puede ser extremadamente incomoda, especialmente si quieres continuar con la relaci�n de �solo amigos� con este jov�n, si valoras su amistad y te preocupan sus sentimientos, ten una platica de coraz�n a coraz�n con �l. Dile que si te importa �l como �amigo�, pero s� especifica y dile que no estas interesda en una conexi�n romantica. Si es un verdadero amigo, �l te entender� y respetar� tus deseos. Luego si el no intiende o se quede mas, esperando algo romantico, solo puede hacer dos cosas: enojarse y luego contentarse. Sinceramente, Aurora

Tried to kiss me...

Dawn Taylor — 2008-01-09T01:43:26-08:00

Dear Dawn:

I have been friendly with a guy at school for almost a year, who likes to hug me every time we see each other and I really don�t mind that. The problem is that he recently tried to kiss me. It made me feel so uncomfortable, to the point that when I finally got far enough away from him I was gagging and spitting. I was so grossed out. I have been avoiding him ever since that day. This situation has caused me a lot of stress. What should I do?

Sincerely, Grossed Out

Dear Grossed Out:

This kind of situation can be extremely uncomfortable, especially if you want to continue a �just friends� relationship with this young man. If you value his friendship and really care about him as a �good friends� relationship, let him know that you are absolutely not interested in a romantic connection. If he is a true friend, he will understand and will respect your wishes. If he doesn�t understand or expects something else, wanting something more meaningful, he has only one more option; to get mad, and then, to get over it. Good Luck to you.

Sincerely, Dawn

Infidelity - Infidelidad

Dawn Taylor — 2007-11-07T12:59:04-08:00

Infidelidad

Dawn Taylor — 2007-11-07T12:54:45-08:00

Estimada Dawn:

Espero que puedas publicar mi historia; ya que no se que hacer. Hace cuatro meses que supe que mi esposo me ha sido infiel. Ahora, me enter� que la mujer que ha estado involucrada con mi esposo ha estado involucrada con dos otros hombres casados durantes los ultimos cinco ańos, y ha causado un ruptura matrimonial hasta la fecha. Ahora el espera que yo lo perdone y que todo sea como antes. Ėl me ha jurado que nunca mas me volvera a ser infiel.

Mi esposo y yo hemos estado casados por 11 ańos y se en mi coraz�n que �l nunca antes ha estado involucrado con nadie. Pero no se como manejar la situaci�n. Siento mucho coraje y lo peopr de todo, me siento humillada por su infidelidad, Yo lo amo, pero ahora tengo que vivir con el coraje y la falta de confianza. Yo no s� que hacer, porque tenemos 4 hermosos hijos. Por favor ay�dame. Atentamente, M�nica, Omaha, Ne.

Estimada M�nica: Primeramente, usted se tiene que preguntar si ustedes pueden seguir viviendo como marido y mujer por las �cuestiones de la confianza�. Segundo, si usted se queda con el, el tendr� que trabajar muy duro para recuperar su confianza junto con su respeto y amor por �l. Ojal� y sea con alg�n ministro religioso y/o consejero matrimonial.

Este tipo de �traici�n" no �nicamente puede afectar su matrimonio, pero tambi�n por su salud, estima personal, y futuro emocional.

El dolor y la rabia que usted est� sintiendo es capaz de destrozar la confianza y puede afectar negativamente a su familia para siempre. Qui�rase, haga una llamada para conseguir alg�n tipo de terapia familiar para esta situaci�n. Esta es una experiencia muy dolorosa que puede afectarle negativamente a usted y a su familia para el resto de su vida si no lo resuelve lo antes possible. Buena Suerte! Aurora.

Infidelity

Dawn Taylor — 2007-11-07T12:53:06-08:00

Dear Dawn:

I am hoping that you will publish my story, as I just don�t know what to do. Four months ago, I learned that my husband has been unfaithful to me. Now, we have learned that the woman that he was involved with has been with two other married men during the last five years, and has caused the break-up of one marriage so far. Now he expects me to forgive him and wants everything just as it was before this happened. He has sworn to me that he will never be unfaithful again.

My husband and I have been married for 11 years and I know in my heart that he has not been involved with anyone before. I just don�t know how to handle this situation� I am so very angry and worst of all, I feel humiliated because of his infidelity. I do love him, but now I have anger and trust issues. I don�t know what to do, as we have 4 beautiful children. Please help me.. Sincerely, Monica, Omaha, Ne.

Dear Monica: First of all, you have to ask yourself if you can continue living as man and wife because of �trust issues�. Secondly, if you stay with him, he has to work very hard to regain that trust along with your respect and love for him, hopefully with counseling from a minister and/or marriage counselor.

This kind of �betrayal� can affect not just your marriage, but also your health, self confidence and emotional future. The hurt and anger you are experiencing is capable of destroying one�s confidence, trust and can adversely affect your family forever. Be good to yourself; make a phone call to get some family counseling because of this situation. This heart-wrenching experience can adversely affect you and your family for the rest of your life if you don�t take care of it as soon as possible. Good luck to you! � Dawn

�xito

Dawn Taylor — 2007-11-07T12:47:12-08:00

�Es re�r a menudo, y amar mucho; es ganar el respeto de personas inteligentes y el afecto de los ni�os. Es ganar la aprobaci�n de cr�ticos honestos y a perdurar a la traici�n de amigos falsos; es apreciar la belleza; es encontrarse a si mismo;
Es dejar el mundo un poquito mejor,
Quiz�s sea a trav�s de un ni�o sano o un jard�n arreglado o una condici�n social redimida;
Es haber jugado y haber re�do con entusiasmo y haber cantado con j�bilo; es saber incluso que una vida ha respirado con m�s facilidad porque has vivido---
Esto es haber tenido �xito�
Autor: An�nimo

Comprendiendo La Violencia Domestica y Familiar

Dawn Taylor — 2007-11-07T12:44:18-08:00

La mayor�a de la gente en relaciones �ntimas tiene desacuerdos con respecto a problemas de vez en cuando. Los desacuerdos son una parte normal de una relaci�n sana. Ambas partes deben sentirse c�modas para exponer sus puntos de vista individuales con respecto a preocupaciones sin miedo o la intimidaci�n. En una relaci�n sana, deben tratarse como iguales y trabajar duro para comprometerse a buscar soluciones para superar sus problemas. Sin embargo, en un hogar donde existe la violencia, la situaci�n es muy diferente. Una persona en la relaci�n utiliza abuso o violencia para controlar a la otra persona a trav�s del miedo. La victima es intimidada, se siente amenazada y no quiere discutir, o se siente demasiado atemorizada para expresar su desacuerdo u opini�n.

Generalmente mujeres en situaciones de violencia dom�stica y familiar no ingresan a una relaci�n, creyendo que llegar� a ser violenta. Aunque a veces, las mujeres elijan llegar a comprometerse , de por vida, cuando hay situaciones de abuso, enga��ndose a si mismas a una vida llena de miseria, con las acciones y/o las palabras que hacen da�o dirigidas hacia ellas por su pareja que se supone las debe amar y proteger. Los autores del abuso y de la violencia son muy controladores y dominantes. Incluso peor, la violencia dom�stica y familiar en algunos casos puede continuar a�n mucho despu�s de que la relaci�n haya terminado.

Es importante que la violencia dom�stica y familiar se entienda en el contexto de la desigualdad social, algo que en la din�mica de las relaciones individuales creadas por la apariencia, gestos, la posesi�n de armas (inclusive cuando no son utilizadas), la destrucci�n a la propiedad, la crueldad a los animales dom�sticos u otros miembros de familia - o cualquier comportamiento que se pueda utilizar para intimidar, o hacer a la otra persona impotente.

FORMAS DE LA VIOLENCIA EN EL HOGAR

Intimidaci�n: Incluye el acoso hacia ella en su trabajo a trav�s de llamadas de tel�fono o por mensajes de texto persistentes, sigui�ndola a y desde su trabajo.

Abuso emocional: Abusando de la mujer deliberadamente minimizando su confianza, haci�ndole creer que est� loca, que es est�pida, in�til, o una �mala madre�. Esta clase de abuso humilla, degrada y minimiza a la v�ctima. Muchas veces all� hay amenazas, que incluyen el da�arlas, amenazas a los ni�os, o el de cometer suicidio. Este comportamiento pod�a incluir silencio y retiro.

Abusos sexuales: La agresi�n sexual es un acto de violencia, poder y un control. Puede incluir muchos comportamientos incluyendo la violaci�n fuerte, y las agresiones sexuales que causan dolor y/o la humillaci�n.

Abuso verbal: Esto incluye el griter�o, minimizar a la persona, insultos, y sarcasmo, a veces poniendo en rid�culo a la persona por su origen �tnico o creencia religiosa.

Abuso social: Este comportamiento incluye el aislamiento de redes sociales, verbal o abusos f�sicos en p�blico o delante de amigos o de la familia.

Abusos f�sicos: La violencia f�sica puede ser de la falta de consideraci�n para la comodidad f�sica al da�o permanente o a la muerte. Podr�a incluir el comportamiento tal como, empujones, golpes, cachetadas, estrangulamiento, jalones del cabello, pu�etazos, etc., o puede ser que incluso implique el uso de armas.

Comportamientos que controlan: Quiere controlar lo que ella hace, lo que ella ve, donde ella va, qu� ella usa, y puede incluir separarla de sus amigos y familia, y evit�ndole a ella ir a trabajar, o no permitir que ella exprese sus sentimientos o pensamientos, y en algunos casos, no permitir libertad cultural, religiosa o personal.

Homicidio Conyugal: Las investigaciones indican que el 21% al 30% de homicidios en los Estados Unidos implican a conyugues o parejas sexuales.

Sab�as que una mujer muere
como resultado de
abuso conyugal
�cada 6 horas en los E.E. U.U.?

Understanding Domestic & Family Violence

Dawn Taylor — 2007-11-07T12:41:48-08:00

Most people in intimate relationships disagree regarding issues and disagreements from time to time. Disagreements are a normal part of a healthy relationship. Both parties should feel comfortable to put forward their individual viewpoints regarding concerns without fear or intimidation. In a healthy relationship, they should treat each other as equals and work hard to compromise, to seek solutions to overcome their problems. However, in a household where domestic violence exists, the situation is very different. One person in the relationship uses abuse or violence to control the other person through fear. The victim is intimidated, feels threatened to argue back, or too frightened to disagree or to voice their opinion.

Generally women in domestic & family violence situations do not enter a relationship, believing it will become violent. Although sometimes, women choose to make a lifelong commitment when there is abuse occurring, kidding themselves into a life full of misery, with hurtful actions and/or words thrown at them by a partner that is supposed to love, and protect them. Perpetrators of abuse and violence are very controlling and domineering. Even worse, in some cases domestic and family violence can continue long after the relationship has ended.

It is important that domestic & family violence is understood in the context of social inequality, rather than on the dynamics of individual relationships created by looks, gestures, possession of weapons (even when not used), destruction of property, cruelty to pets or other family members � or any behavior which can be utilized to intimidate, or to render the other person powerless.

FORMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Intimidation: Includes harassing her at her workplace either by persistent phone calls or text message, following her to and from work.

Emotional Abuse: Abusing the woman by deliberately undermining her confidence, leading her to believe she is insane, stupid, useless, or a �bad mother�. This kind of abuse humiliates, degrades and is demeaning to the victim. Many times there are threats, which include those to harm them, threats to the children, or to commit suicide. This behavior could include silence and withdrawal.

Sexual Abuse: Sexual assault is an act of violence, power and control. It can include many behaviors including forcible rape, and sexual assaults that cause pain and/or humiliation.

Verbal Abuse: This includes screaming, shouting, put-downs, name-calling, and sarcasm, sometimes ridiculing her for her ethnic background or religious beliefs.

Social Abuse: This behavior includes isolation from social networks, verbal or physical abuse in public or in front of friends or family.

Physical Abuse: Physical violence can range from the lack of consideration for physical comfort to permanent damage or death. It could include such behavior as pushing, shoving, hitting, slapping, choking, hair-pulling, punching, etc., or might even involve the use of weapons.

Controlling Behaviors: Wants to control what she does, who she sees, where she goes, what she wears, and can include keeping her from friends and family, preventing her from going to work, or not allowing her to express her feelings or thoughts, and in some cases, not allowing cultural, religious or personal freedom.

Spousal Homicide: Research indicates that 21% to 30% of homicides in the United States involve either spouses or sexual partners.

Did you know that a woman dies
as the result of
spousal abuse
every 6 hours in the U. S.?

SUCCESS

Dawn Taylor — 2007-11-07T12:32:20-08:00

�To laugh often and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent persons
And the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty; to find one�s self;
To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child, a garden patch,
Or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived---
This is to have succeeded�
Author: Anonymous